Struck to the core, and down on one knee I’m left with no choice.
Allow me to take off the mask and reveal myself for what I truly am.
I’m a human.
I make mistakes.
And I’m sorry for that but what more can I do?
What more is possible for me to salvage that which is dead?
Like they always said, flames always go out.
Every voice and soul in my head screams to be let out! They pound and pound and never cease!
But I hold them back.
And now they’ve gone silent.
Which is worse? The deafening silence or the incessant screaming?
Either way, it does not matter.
Because, as I lay on the ground, cold, and the life slowly trickling out of me, I finally understand what it means to have your heart break into a thousand pieces.
All I wanted was power.
All I wanted was to finally have peace in my mind and solace in my heart.
In death I shall find it.
I sought the Ark. I sought knowledge. I tried to become a god.
But much like Icarus, I got too close to the sun, and my wings erupted in flames.
So I journeyed through hell and heaven alike.
But it was fruitless.
So I tried to set up a wall. I tried to shut everything out.
No one would come close enough to hurt me. And no one could.
But it came time for the wall to be torn down. And there they all were, standing there, bombarding me.
With the wall’s collapse, I lost all sense of sanity I had left.
I was exposed before my peers whom I had hidden myself from for all these years.
And now they all know what I am.
They all know who I am.
From my wretched heart burst forth hatred and anger directed at you, directed at everyone.
Those primal emotions manifested themselves and took on my countenance, hurting others.
All I could do was sit back and watch, trying, crying to rebuild the wall.
I tried to get away from everything, putting on the mask and changing my name.
It didn’t work.
Their faces still haunt me.
What I did still haunts me.
But who cares?
Because now I die. Now I can finally be at peace.
I can let go of all those regrets and pains, forgetting about what I did.
The joke is on you. You who wields the hand of God so self righteously.
You should know what I found.
The truth about God and this world.
You see, it’s…