It was a silent crying.
A crying where you knew it had to come out, but there were other people there ruining your catharsis.
I hadn’t been a friend.
I hadn’t held your hand at the end or told you that it was going to be okay.
And my last words to you were “goodbye” instead of “I’d see you again.”
Sometimes, I wonder what your last words were; I wonder if you thought of me.
I wonder if you hated me.
So my life’s goal became to bring you back.
I’d write you back to life.
With every character I created, a piece of you lingers within them.
Whether it be their ability to smile in pain, their kindness, or their pure heart.
I wanted to bring you back so I could hear you say you didn’t hate me.
And no matter how many times I write those words, they just echo in my head, meaningless and empty.
I wish I could say I was sorry.
So I think it and say it outloud, hoping someone might hear.