I’ve been pushed to the edge time and time again.
I’ve been pissed off.
I’ve been hurt and angry.
All of us have. But it takes a special kind of person to push me over the edge.
It takes a special kind of person to make me stop caring.
But, as God as my unwavering witness, you’ve done it.
I was taught to love everyone and everything even if they hurt me or others.
Everyone has their reasons, and there is always something to love about them.
But I truly believe there’s nothing I could love about you anymore.
So what do I do now? Do I change my name? Can I no longer be the Fair and Light?
But that’s just my mind talking.
My heart, as fragmented as it may be, still tells me to love you.
It tells me to journey on and wade through the marshes of anger and pain.
“With everything that sets me back, I push back harder to clear the way. There’s not a thing I regret. Can’t live my life in yesterday.”
That’s what I’ve always told myself. But with you I keep going back to the past.
I keep looking over all the bad times I put you through and you put me through.
I guess that’s what love is, but how can it be when both of us suffer through what seems like everyday.
Maybe. Just maybe it’s because I’m too far gone.
Is it all my fault?
Could I have done something different?
“Why God? Why have you cursed me like this?!”
I wish to scream to the high heavens of divine providence and eternal love.
But I cannot blame anyone but myself.
Truly I am.
For what I became was truly neither fair nor light.